Evil Genius meets Clueless Idiot: Highschool style
by Sayu-fu
Summary: A bright genius is turned idiot when his head is slammed into a door! Tobi, the new kid, transfers to the famed Yuriko High School! A high school story with an Akatsuki twist! Chapter 2 is up and running!
1. Chapter 1

_I was feeling great. I had just received the results to my entrance exam, and now I was admitted into the prestigious Yuriko Academic High School. Not only was it the best school in the country, but it also only allowed particularly bright and gifted (or filthy rich) students. Now I'd finally be normal. Sure I must look ridiculous when I wear this orange mask, but it's not like I'm all that freakish. Everyone's a little bit different, right?_

This is exactly what Tobi had thought on his first day at his new school. As he said, Yuriko was an extremely esteemed school. With three buildings and amazing classes, it was the real deal. Tobi held his school schedule tight, and had his bookbag slung over his right shoulder. His school uniform consisted of a white, collared, flannel shirt, a black vest, and black slacks. Around his neck he wore a red tie with a white stripe at the bottom. He had his orange swirl mask tied tightly on his face. He looked at the high windows and ceilings, totally distracted by his luxurious surroundings. As if out of nowhere, Tobi bumped into a taller boy, with messy auburn hair and piercings covering the bridge of his nose, under his lip, and perhaps one on his eyebrow.

"Hey kid, watch it." The taller boy muttered. He dusted off his vest, which a bit baggy.

"I'm sorry, I'll be more careful." He looked up and saw a blue haired girl next to him. Her hair was in an up-turned ponytail with an origami lotus tucked behind her ear. As he gathered up his bags, the reddish haired boy was about to turn away, when to bluette turned to him and whispered in his ear. He smirked, and she giggled.

"Hey, the name's Pein, she's Konan. You?"

"Oh, uh, Tobi."

"You look new. Are you?" Before he let Tobi answer, he gestured to his schedule. "Lemme see that." Tobi handed over the wrinkled paper, and Pein's eyes scanned the paper. "Hm… First period… English." He waved his hand. "This way, follow me." Tobi scurried behind the pair, and made sure that he kept behind them.

"English is right in here. Have a nice day sweetie." Konan giggled, as if she knew something Tobi didn't. Pein opened the door for Tobi.

"After you." He said, the sneer still plastered on his face, as he stifled a laugh.

"Wow, the people here are so nice!" Tobi grinned behind his mask. Before he could get fully in the room, Pein slammed the door into the back of his head. Luckily, (or unluckily?) no teachers saw. Pein burst out laughing, clutching his gut, and so did Konan, practically hugging himself. The red head finally stopped laughing, and wrapped his arm around Konan's shoulder.

"That was wicked sweet!" He shouted.

"Totally classic, great one Pein-kun!"

"Thanks for the idea Konan-chan. Great 'acting' too!" Konan was still giggling, her fist lightly punching her friend's arm. When they finally calmed down, they looked down at the orange masked boy passed out at their feet. "Oh shit."

Tobi woke up in a white room with a dark haired woman sitting next to the cot.

"You're awake! Thank God, we were a bit worried there." She sighed in relief. "As you probably know, as you were walking into the English room, you tripped and hit the door."

"Oohh… Tobi doesn't feel so good." Tobi murmured.

"Hm… Speaking in the third person…" The woman sighed again. "Tsunade-sama, it's worse than we thought!" A tall woman staggered in, and stopped at the bed.

"Shizune, what is it now?" The large-breasted gruffly said. She flipped her blonde hair.

"I-I think he has a concussion!" The blonde walked over to him and sat on the other side of the bed.

"You. Turn this way." Tobi obediently did so, and she grabbed his mask. Tobi started struggling to keep his mask on.

"No! Tobi… wants to wear… Tobi's mask!" Tobi was holding the edges of his mask tightly.

"Shizune! Distract him!" Tsunade yelled.

"Yes ma'm!" Shizune grabbed a pastel pink bunny off the counter and started waving it in his face. Tobi followed it, and stared at it longingly. Just as he did this, Tsunade grabbed the mask off his face. Tobi, totally mesmerized, didn't notice. Shizune looked like she was going to puke.

"Alright, now follow my fingers with your"- Tsunade looked at his face. "HOLY MOTHER OF- HERE TAKE BACK YOUR MASK, YOU'RE OFFICIALLY RETARDED!" Tsunade tossed the mask at Tobi and grabbed Shizune by the arm, running out of the room. Tobi cocked his head dumbly as they ran out.

"Tobi going to get to class now." He said as he walked out of the infirmary.

**What will Tobi's day be like?**

**How much longer will he have to put up with Pein and Konan?**

**Will he get past chapter two without blowing up his head?**

**Why the hell do you give a shit?**

**Anyways, hope you liked chapter one. Seeya around at chapter 2! **

**Signing off!**

**GaaraxxxheartxxxAi**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chappie two everyone! ;D This one is going to be centered around Kisame-kun, because he's just a funny character.**

"Oi, Fish boy!" Kisame heard a voice shout behind him. He spun around, and saw Itachi, his punk-ass best-friend, and occasional study-partner.

"What?" The blue-skinned teen asked with a sigh.

"You're coming to Drama club today, right?" Itachi asked, narrowing his feminine yet cold red eyes.

"Can't. I've got work." Kisame lied. He actually wasn't going because he had a protest at a sushi bar. Itachi flipped his long black hair.

"If you miss anymore of these things, you're gonna get kicked out." The dark-haired boy stated coolly before walking off. Kisame turned back around and was crashed into by a short kid in an orange mask.

"Tobi is sorry!" He jumped up and seemed to smile. You couldn't tell by his mask whether he was smiling or not.

"Yeah whatever. First of all, what kind of effed up cosplay are you wearing? Second of all, why are you talking in the third person?" Kisame steamed.

"Tobi not wearing cosplay!" The short kid jumped up. "Tobi a good boy!"

"You still didn't answer the second question. Do I have to break your arm to get it out of you?" Kisame cracked his knuckles and cocked his head. That's why he was in Drama club. Because he was a _very_ good actor.

"What's 'third person'? There's only two people here, Tobi and Fish-man!" The orange masked kid rocked back and forth on his heels, with his hands behind his back. You could practically see the steam coming out of Kisame's ears.

"I'm _not_ a fish! Why can't people see that I'm a shark?!" The sharky teen yelled hotly. People turned their heads and stared at him. _'Great. Now I've made a scene. Good luck wearing this down Kisame.'_ With a sigh, he realized that today was going to be a long day. Forcefully, he pushed the little orange kid away from him, as he walked to class.

"Tobi like you, Fish-man!" The boy, who we all should know is Tobi by now, hopped up and squealed.

"Just go away!" Kisame shrieked. He started running down the halls and squeezed into his third period Literature class five minutes early.

"Hoshigaki? You're in early for a slacker like you." His sensei, Jiraiya muttered as he erased the blackboard, with a collapsible telescope under his arm, which he used for his "extra curricular activities".

"Shut it old timer," he murmed, walking over to a seat in the very back of the class.

Tobi stumbled around the halls, trying to figure out what class he was supposed to be in. "Tobi don't understand this place at all. Tobi wish Fish-man would help." As the short and confused boy wandered and mumbled, he bumped into a taller in comparison blonde.

"Hey, watch where you're going, un! You're gonna hurt somebody, yeah!" Tobi looked up at the boy with long blond hair that covered one of his eyes. "Do you need me to spell it out for you? Get lost, un!"

"Tobi already is lost!"

"Hmph. Newbies always are dumb, aren't they, yeah?" The blonde, whom we should have guessed is named Deidara murmured. "Gimme your schedule." Tobi cocked his head as if to ask "Wha?"

"The little white paper they gave you at the office? Show me it, un." Tobi dug through his bag, which had somehow become very disorganized and filled with wrappers since he left the nurses office, until he retrieved a white sheet with his schedule printed on it.

"Tobi has un-dug the special white paper!"

"Shut up, squirt." Deidara scanned the paper the cried out. "Why! Oh why! Why the hell did they put us in the same effing homeroom with the same effing schedule, un!!" Tobi widened his eyes behind his mask.

"Senpai don't like Tobi?"

"I can't stand idiots like you, yeah! And technically I'm not your senpai!"

"Why isn't senpai Tobi's senpai?"

"One, my name is Deidara, un. Two, because I got held back a grade because I 'accidentally' blew up the art festival last year, un!"

"Okey dokey Deidara-senpai!" Tobi hopped up, without zipping his backpack up, which sent a flurry of candy wrappers down the halls.

"Hey, hey, quit dirtying the halls, yeah." Deidara bonked the short kid on his head. Tobi of course didn't zip it up, and more trash spread across the halls as he tagged along behind Deidara to class.

_Lunch time_

Itachi walked up to the lunch line coolly, and made sure to glare at the lunch server who was attempting to serve him tomato soup, something he couldn't stand at this school. When he met his stare, he immediately dropped the ladle and attempted to grin and tell him to move along. Smoothly he walked outside to the area under a tree where he and the rest of the 'group' sat. He sat next to his blue friend who was eating from his packed bento box. "I don't see why you still pack a lunch; the kitchen stopped serving fish after your 'allergy' fiasco last year." Itachi sighed.

"You can never be too sure Itachi."

"Who's the kid following Deidara around?"

"Some squirt who talks in the third person. I think his name was Timmy or something." Kisame shook his head and shivered at the thought of him. Deidara was trying to get Tobi away from him while he was on the lunch line, which was an utter failure.

"Tobi like you Deidara-senpai!" He squealed ever so childishly.

"Yeah, well I don't like _you_!" He whacked him harshly on the head, which caused Tobi to cry.

"Uwaahh!!"

"Wow. He's like a grade schooler." Kisame said when he turned to watch

"Yeah, well that's because his brain has been reduced to the size of a grade-schooler's." Pein.

"How'd that happen?"

"Uh, um… Concussion?" Pein stuttered nervously.

"Whatever. You're the boss." Kisame rolled his eyes.

_-Several Hours later-_

Kisame held his protest sign high in the air.

"Fish are friends! Not food!" He screamed, along with other vegetarians. Truthfully, Kisame wasn't vegetarian, but _fish_? Why should they be treated unfairly? That explains why he doesn't like that song by Nirvana. Screams of "Stop the murder" and "Fair treatment for finned friends" flooded the area. Sometimes he wondered why the hell he even went to these things, but they made him remember why he looked like he did. Science experiments on an unborn fetus are _not_ cool. As he shook his sign, he noticed something not too common. A girl in the same uniform of waitresses at the restaurant they were in front of was standing in their midst. Why would someone who works for a sushi restaurant protest against the consuming of fish? _"Strange world around here."_ He thought.

"Sushi is murder!" she shouted, shaking the handle of her sign. Kisame dismissed her presence though, because quite frankly, he didn't exactly care who was involved with what; as long as they have a cause, he couldn't give less of a shit. In the crowd, he felt someone bump into him.

"Oops, sorry." A female voice said, or more like shouted, apologetically.

"Yeah, its fine." Kisame decided not to flip out, he was in a crowd after all, and when you're in a crowd of screaming vegetarians, you can expect to get bumped.

This was when he realized that the girl was the waitress from the sushi bar. She had raven colored hair, which was almost blue, and a pair of glasses resting on her nose. She flashed a smile, and then went back to waving her sign. The protest went on for half an hour, and gave Kisame enough time to return to drama club, but he chose not to. After all, Itachi thought he was at "work", which supposedly went on for two hours. Unfortunately, Kisame wasn't sure what he should do now that the crowd dispersed.

Itachi was moving through the streets, back pack slung over his shoulder. Kisame should be at work, he decided he could loiter around the quickie mart where his friend maintained his job. As he sifted through the busy Shibuya streets, he kept his piercing red eyes open for the brightly colored sign. Upon his arrival at the average convenience store, he noticed to his surprise no blue skinned figure behind the counter. "Hmph. I should have known that he was behaving beyond suspicious this morning." He murmured. He knew Kisame was a talented actor, but he manages to tell when he's lying. That was just how well they knew eacthother. He chose not to let trivial things bug him; this was just the way Kisame was, a person with no specific desire to reveal anything, for it could be used to embarrass him. Itachi mulled things over, leaning against the magazine rack of the convenience store. Kisame was very proud, he knew that, and he already did get enough poor treatment from others for his genetic appearance. He supposed that such activies were only in his nature, and why would anyone defy the over powering force of nature?

**Alright, so here's chapter two. Not so funny as I'd like at the end, but it does explain some things I find necessary to the story. So that about sums up how my brain works. Anyways, illustrations for EGMCI (Evil Genius Meets Clueless Idiot) can be found at my deviant art page michiyo-chanferretha.. Hope you've enjoyed chapter two! You can expect more updates from me in the future.**


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